Pan

Pan is one of the students I've been reading with for a long long time (in fact we've finished all three of the LST books, something that I have not done with any other student). The last time we studied together, knowing that it was our last lesson, I was very open and forward with my questions.

Sometimes when my students study with me, they will answer my questions with the answer they think I want to hear, instead of what is truly their opinion or belief. I sensed Pan giving me these kinds of answers during our study, so I asked for clarification about whether he truly believed what he said or not. He said that he believed it 50-50. I pushed further and told him that belief isn't a percentage, it's yes or no, so did he believe what he said yer or no. He hesitated a while and then answered that he didn't want to say no because I had been teaching him for so long, surely I would be sad if he told me he didn't believe. I let Pan know that my role was to teach him. To give him what others gave me: knowledge of God, and experience of His love; this I had done; what he chose to do with it was entirely between him and God.

This was not exactly the answer I had expected I would give as it was not at all what I was feeling at the time, but from somewhere within me spoke a stronger voice than my wavering human feelings, perhaps the voice of my Faith, faith that the Word of God which I had taught Pan has indeed the power to change the hearts of men, or perhaps the voice of my humility, humility that understands my limitations and my role.

I praise God that He has strengthened and grown me in Him so that I can have peace in my ministry and about my students and their decisions.